I'm finally catching up with my life after our vacation to San Diego.. Wow how time has flown and unfortunately I haven't even been able to enjoy much the last few weeks- -especially running!
Luke, my mom, and I went to San Diego for a two fold reason- 1. to have a vacation! finally! 2. to see my dad's family and together spread his ashes over a beach Dad grew up near. It was so great being in California. When I'm out there I always wonder why my dad traded mountains, beautiful weather and beaches for the corn fields, cold weather, and icing roads. It's beautiful out there and I never want to come home once I'm there.
To keep with my training schedule, Luke was gracious enough to go out with me each morning to run. We found a beautiful spot to run- - it was at the top of a group of hills that made up a state park. Running with my fiance, with sunrising over the hills was absolutely gorgeous (way better than the streets and houses in Indiana). It was so great to be together and not have the pressure of our everyday life.
We did alot of fun things in California including going to Disneyland and the San Diego Zoo. Walking around Disneyland with a seven-footer was hilarious. Getting stuck on rides and not fitting through some doorways made the day that much better. I admire Luke so much to not take all of those things seriously and he's always able to laugh at himself and make others laugh with him as well. Having carefree time in California allowed for us to reconnect after a long 9 months of distance.
Spreading my dad's ashes was the not-so-fun part of the trip. We had a beautiful ceremony with my uncle and cousins to remember Dad and his life. After prayer, a Bible reading, a song and memories, most of us took a handful of ashes and spread them in the ocean. My mom took what was left and spread them by herself. Watching my mom stand alone at the water and letting the ashes fly away was a difficult realization for me- -that's exactly what she is. She is alone. I will never get that picture out of my head. That was the time that I realized that this has really happened. This life is really real. I know my mom has realized most of these things already but when I saw her standing there, alone, my heart wept for her because of the pain that i knew she had to be going through.
The vacation was fun, but there were also very difficult moments. I was so thankful for the spending time with my dad's family. My uncle, grandpa, and my dad all look and act very closely so when I'm around them, I feel a little closer to my dad.
Vacation was great, but now we're back to real life! Wedding plans, workout schedules, friends, and work take up our time again but for each of these things I am thankful!
Tuesday, June 22, 2010
Wednesday, June 9, 2010
i run for.. the moment I finally got my fiance back!
wow, what a crazy past couple of weeks. I've been awful at blogging, but then again I've been awful at everything in my life! Thankfully, my motivation for running has stayed the same and I've continued to train even though I may have slacked on telling about it. I want to take the time I have now to catch up!
The past 9 months have been crazy. When I think back to them it seems like they flew by but when I was going through it I thought that they would never end. I'll be honest and say that living without Luke was so difficult. Not only because I missed being together, but more so because of everything that was going on.
Engagement should be the happiest time of your life, right? Learning, growing, and preparing for your new life together, as a couple. Getting to know the other person better than you could have ever known before and planning the day that every girl dreams about. But with Luke playing ball half way around the world, our relationship was stretched. Add in a wedding to plan, homesickness and a dying dad, engagement was definitely not what either of us had dreamed of.
Thankfully, we were both committed to one another and knew that God had orchestrated our relationship. That fact alone gave us more purpose to communicate, work on, and fight for what we knew was God's will. There were so many times that I wished Luke could experience what I was.
I was so lucky to have my friends through out the wedding planning to enjoy it with someone. Someone to get excited with and someone to help me make decisions. I was definitely blessed with some amazing people around me to enjoy life with. I was also so blessed by these same people being there when my dad died. There were so many times that all I need was someone to hug and my friends always went above and beyond. A couple even stayed with my family and I when he passed and the following days. My friends made sure that the first week was never spent alone. They were amazing!
Ok, back to present day. The day Luke came home I was so excited I couldn't even sit still at work. My legs were fidgety and I was bursting with excitement. The whole work day I was thinking about the moment I finally got to see him. Of course questions ran through my mind about if in the 9 months if things had changed between us. There's always the questions of if we grew apart or closer and until you're together you won't fully know.
But the moment I saw him walk out of that terminal I couldn't help but smile and jump into his arms. The feeling of relief that I FINALLY had that one person back. You know what I mean by that- the one person that you know will always be there even when it's inconvenient. The one person that you want to tell everything to because you know they will listen and actually care about it. The one person that loves you even when you get angry and words become hurtful. They are usually the first person you call when something GREAT happens and first person you call when someone terrible, horrible, and unthinkable happens. Everyone should have that one person to live life with (even if it's a friend or close family member). When I finally saw Luke, I felt that I could finally let down my independent-I-can-do-everything-guard. I was excited, relieved, hopeful, nervous, thankful, and overwhelmed with love. The only thing I knew to do was cry, to cry with happiness and sadness. All in that moment I realized how much he had missed, how much we had missed as a couple, but also that it was finally OVER. I finally had my one person back.
The past 9 months have been crazy. When I think back to them it seems like they flew by but when I was going through it I thought that they would never end. I'll be honest and say that living without Luke was so difficult. Not only because I missed being together, but more so because of everything that was going on.
Engagement should be the happiest time of your life, right? Learning, growing, and preparing for your new life together, as a couple. Getting to know the other person better than you could have ever known before and planning the day that every girl dreams about. But with Luke playing ball half way around the world, our relationship was stretched. Add in a wedding to plan, homesickness and a dying dad, engagement was definitely not what either of us had dreamed of.
Thankfully, we were both committed to one another and knew that God had orchestrated our relationship. That fact alone gave us more purpose to communicate, work on, and fight for what we knew was God's will. There were so many times that I wished Luke could experience what I was.
I was so lucky to have my friends through out the wedding planning to enjoy it with someone. Someone to get excited with and someone to help me make decisions. I was definitely blessed with some amazing people around me to enjoy life with. I was also so blessed by these same people being there when my dad died. There were so many times that all I need was someone to hug and my friends always went above and beyond. A couple even stayed with my family and I when he passed and the following days. My friends made sure that the first week was never spent alone. They were amazing!
Ok, back to present day. The day Luke came home I was so excited I couldn't even sit still at work. My legs were fidgety and I was bursting with excitement. The whole work day I was thinking about the moment I finally got to see him. Of course questions ran through my mind about if in the 9 months if things had changed between us. There's always the questions of if we grew apart or closer and until you're together you won't fully know.
But the moment I saw him walk out of that terminal I couldn't help but smile and jump into his arms. The feeling of relief that I FINALLY had that one person back. You know what I mean by that- the one person that you know will always be there even when it's inconvenient. The one person that you want to tell everything to because you know they will listen and actually care about it. The one person that loves you even when you get angry and words become hurtful. They are usually the first person you call when something GREAT happens and first person you call when someone terrible, horrible, and unthinkable happens. Everyone should have that one person to live life with (even if it's a friend or close family member). When I finally saw Luke, I felt that I could finally let down my independent-I-can-do-everything-guard. I was excited, relieved, hopeful, nervous, thankful, and overwhelmed with love. The only thing I knew to do was cry, to cry with happiness and sadness. All in that moment I realized how much he had missed, how much we had missed as a couple, but also that it was finally OVER. I finally had my one person back.
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