Last week I was feeling very accomplished- I ran for 25 minutes straight.. no stopping, no walking, I finally did it. When I’m running everything hurts. I’ve had aches and pains throughout this process, mostly in my knees and in my ankles and feet. But the moment I started to cool down after my 25 minutes of running, my foot was in severe pain. It was painful for me to even walk and as the day went on it kept getting worse.
I had a doctor’s appointment that same day to have my left knee checked out after an old knee injury was beginning to bother me. While I was getting checked for my knee the doctor also attended to my hurt foot, since I had been limping coming into the office. I had an x-ray on both and sure enough, I had a stress fracture on the top of my foot! How frustrated! I had ran the most I ever have, only to find out that I can’t run anymore.
So what’s the prognosis?
Not only is this affecting my running, but I also have a wedding in 7 weeks! I refuse to be LIMPING down the aisle! The doctor put me on crutches for 2 weeks and said that I can’t put any weight on my foot. At anytime, if I put weight on the certain spot or if there is a too sudden of an impact I could break my foot and then I would need a cast- and I wouldn’t get it off before the wedding!
The doctor is hoping that no weight bearing exercise will help it heal quickly but even after the 2 weeks with the crutches I have to have a boot for 2-3 weeks. My doctor ensured me as long as everything goes well that I will be able to walk 2 weeks before the wedding- but nothing more. No running for another 2 weeks after I get the boot off.
SO, what does that mean for the race I was going to run?
Well, I obviously will not be able to run in the race that I had intended on running in July. But, I do still want to keep to fundraising and running when I’m able.
So for those of you that still have a passion to help with cancer research- - I’m going to still be involved. Luke has been very supportive and has offered to run a race for me, sometime before the wedding- that way we can still raise money.
BUT HERE’S THE BIG ANNOUNCEMENT!!!!
We’ve decided to raise money for Coaches vs. Cancer/The American Cancer Society!! We know a lot of people that are involved with CVC and all the proceeds go to the ACS so we are happy to report that we will be working with Coaches, athletes, and all of you to help raise money for the organization!
Stay tuned for more details! Many, Many more to come!
Friday, July 2, 2010
Tuesday, June 22, 2010
i run for.. vacations.
I'm finally catching up with my life after our vacation to San Diego.. Wow how time has flown and unfortunately I haven't even been able to enjoy much the last few weeks- -especially running!
Luke, my mom, and I went to San Diego for a two fold reason- 1. to have a vacation! finally! 2. to see my dad's family and together spread his ashes over a beach Dad grew up near. It was so great being in California. When I'm out there I always wonder why my dad traded mountains, beautiful weather and beaches for the corn fields, cold weather, and icing roads. It's beautiful out there and I never want to come home once I'm there.
To keep with my training schedule, Luke was gracious enough to go out with me each morning to run. We found a beautiful spot to run- - it was at the top of a group of hills that made up a state park. Running with my fiance, with sunrising over the hills was absolutely gorgeous (way better than the streets and houses in Indiana). It was so great to be together and not have the pressure of our everyday life.
We did alot of fun things in California including going to Disneyland and the San Diego Zoo. Walking around Disneyland with a seven-footer was hilarious. Getting stuck on rides and not fitting through some doorways made the day that much better. I admire Luke so much to not take all of those things seriously and he's always able to laugh at himself and make others laugh with him as well. Having carefree time in California allowed for us to reconnect after a long 9 months of distance.
Spreading my dad's ashes was the not-so-fun part of the trip. We had a beautiful ceremony with my uncle and cousins to remember Dad and his life. After prayer, a Bible reading, a song and memories, most of us took a handful of ashes and spread them in the ocean. My mom took what was left and spread them by herself. Watching my mom stand alone at the water and letting the ashes fly away was a difficult realization for me- -that's exactly what she is. She is alone. I will never get that picture out of my head. That was the time that I realized that this has really happened. This life is really real. I know my mom has realized most of these things already but when I saw her standing there, alone, my heart wept for her because of the pain that i knew she had to be going through.
The vacation was fun, but there were also very difficult moments. I was so thankful for the spending time with my dad's family. My uncle, grandpa, and my dad all look and act very closely so when I'm around them, I feel a little closer to my dad.
Vacation was great, but now we're back to real life! Wedding plans, workout schedules, friends, and work take up our time again but for each of these things I am thankful!
Luke, my mom, and I went to San Diego for a two fold reason- 1. to have a vacation! finally! 2. to see my dad's family and together spread his ashes over a beach Dad grew up near. It was so great being in California. When I'm out there I always wonder why my dad traded mountains, beautiful weather and beaches for the corn fields, cold weather, and icing roads. It's beautiful out there and I never want to come home once I'm there.
To keep with my training schedule, Luke was gracious enough to go out with me each morning to run. We found a beautiful spot to run- - it was at the top of a group of hills that made up a state park. Running with my fiance, with sunrising over the hills was absolutely gorgeous (way better than the streets and houses in Indiana). It was so great to be together and not have the pressure of our everyday life.
We did alot of fun things in California including going to Disneyland and the San Diego Zoo. Walking around Disneyland with a seven-footer was hilarious. Getting stuck on rides and not fitting through some doorways made the day that much better. I admire Luke so much to not take all of those things seriously and he's always able to laugh at himself and make others laugh with him as well. Having carefree time in California allowed for us to reconnect after a long 9 months of distance.
Spreading my dad's ashes was the not-so-fun part of the trip. We had a beautiful ceremony with my uncle and cousins to remember Dad and his life. After prayer, a Bible reading, a song and memories, most of us took a handful of ashes and spread them in the ocean. My mom took what was left and spread them by herself. Watching my mom stand alone at the water and letting the ashes fly away was a difficult realization for me- -that's exactly what she is. She is alone. I will never get that picture out of my head. That was the time that I realized that this has really happened. This life is really real. I know my mom has realized most of these things already but when I saw her standing there, alone, my heart wept for her because of the pain that i knew she had to be going through.
The vacation was fun, but there were also very difficult moments. I was so thankful for the spending time with my dad's family. My uncle, grandpa, and my dad all look and act very closely so when I'm around them, I feel a little closer to my dad.
Vacation was great, but now we're back to real life! Wedding plans, workout schedules, friends, and work take up our time again but for each of these things I am thankful!
Wednesday, June 9, 2010
i run for.. the moment I finally got my fiance back!
wow, what a crazy past couple of weeks. I've been awful at blogging, but then again I've been awful at everything in my life! Thankfully, my motivation for running has stayed the same and I've continued to train even though I may have slacked on telling about it. I want to take the time I have now to catch up!
The past 9 months have been crazy. When I think back to them it seems like they flew by but when I was going through it I thought that they would never end. I'll be honest and say that living without Luke was so difficult. Not only because I missed being together, but more so because of everything that was going on.
Engagement should be the happiest time of your life, right? Learning, growing, and preparing for your new life together, as a couple. Getting to know the other person better than you could have ever known before and planning the day that every girl dreams about. But with Luke playing ball half way around the world, our relationship was stretched. Add in a wedding to plan, homesickness and a dying dad, engagement was definitely not what either of us had dreamed of.
Thankfully, we were both committed to one another and knew that God had orchestrated our relationship. That fact alone gave us more purpose to communicate, work on, and fight for what we knew was God's will. There were so many times that I wished Luke could experience what I was.
I was so lucky to have my friends through out the wedding planning to enjoy it with someone. Someone to get excited with and someone to help me make decisions. I was definitely blessed with some amazing people around me to enjoy life with. I was also so blessed by these same people being there when my dad died. There were so many times that all I need was someone to hug and my friends always went above and beyond. A couple even stayed with my family and I when he passed and the following days. My friends made sure that the first week was never spent alone. They were amazing!
Ok, back to present day. The day Luke came home I was so excited I couldn't even sit still at work. My legs were fidgety and I was bursting with excitement. The whole work day I was thinking about the moment I finally got to see him. Of course questions ran through my mind about if in the 9 months if things had changed between us. There's always the questions of if we grew apart or closer and until you're together you won't fully know.
But the moment I saw him walk out of that terminal I couldn't help but smile and jump into his arms. The feeling of relief that I FINALLY had that one person back. You know what I mean by that- the one person that you know will always be there even when it's inconvenient. The one person that you want to tell everything to because you know they will listen and actually care about it. The one person that loves you even when you get angry and words become hurtful. They are usually the first person you call when something GREAT happens and first person you call when someone terrible, horrible, and unthinkable happens. Everyone should have that one person to live life with (even if it's a friend or close family member). When I finally saw Luke, I felt that I could finally let down my independent-I-can-do-everything-guard. I was excited, relieved, hopeful, nervous, thankful, and overwhelmed with love. The only thing I knew to do was cry, to cry with happiness and sadness. All in that moment I realized how much he had missed, how much we had missed as a couple, but also that it was finally OVER. I finally had my one person back.
The past 9 months have been crazy. When I think back to them it seems like they flew by but when I was going through it I thought that they would never end. I'll be honest and say that living without Luke was so difficult. Not only because I missed being together, but more so because of everything that was going on.
Engagement should be the happiest time of your life, right? Learning, growing, and preparing for your new life together, as a couple. Getting to know the other person better than you could have ever known before and planning the day that every girl dreams about. But with Luke playing ball half way around the world, our relationship was stretched. Add in a wedding to plan, homesickness and a dying dad, engagement was definitely not what either of us had dreamed of.
Thankfully, we were both committed to one another and knew that God had orchestrated our relationship. That fact alone gave us more purpose to communicate, work on, and fight for what we knew was God's will. There were so many times that I wished Luke could experience what I was.
I was so lucky to have my friends through out the wedding planning to enjoy it with someone. Someone to get excited with and someone to help me make decisions. I was definitely blessed with some amazing people around me to enjoy life with. I was also so blessed by these same people being there when my dad died. There were so many times that all I need was someone to hug and my friends always went above and beyond. A couple even stayed with my family and I when he passed and the following days. My friends made sure that the first week was never spent alone. They were amazing!
Ok, back to present day. The day Luke came home I was so excited I couldn't even sit still at work. My legs were fidgety and I was bursting with excitement. The whole work day I was thinking about the moment I finally got to see him. Of course questions ran through my mind about if in the 9 months if things had changed between us. There's always the questions of if we grew apart or closer and until you're together you won't fully know.
But the moment I saw him walk out of that terminal I couldn't help but smile and jump into his arms. The feeling of relief that I FINALLY had that one person back. You know what I mean by that- the one person that you know will always be there even when it's inconvenient. The one person that you want to tell everything to because you know they will listen and actually care about it. The one person that loves you even when you get angry and words become hurtful. They are usually the first person you call when something GREAT happens and first person you call when someone terrible, horrible, and unthinkable happens. Everyone should have that one person to live life with (even if it's a friend or close family member). When I finally saw Luke, I felt that I could finally let down my independent-I-can-do-everything-guard. I was excited, relieved, hopeful, nervous, thankful, and overwhelmed with love. The only thing I knew to do was cry, to cry with happiness and sadness. All in that moment I realized how much he had missed, how much we had missed as a couple, but also that it was finally OVER. I finally had my one person back.
Thursday, May 27, 2010
i run for.. time to cry.
This post is not going to be very flattering but I said that I was going to share my ups and downs, my achievements and my failures. You can’t get the good without the bad, right? Honesty and vulnerability- sometimes the hardest things to share with others.
My life is sometimes overwhelming. I’ve always made myself busy with many things, and this stage of my life is no different. I wish there were more hours in a day but if that were the case, I would probably add more things to my schedule and be even busier.
Since January, my life has been a whirlwind. I feel like I haven’t stopped- for anything.. and unfortunately that included my dad’s death. It seems that lately I’ve finally worn myself out that I feel like I can’t go anymore. This past week has been great with Luke home, but there is so many wedding details that I couldn’t do without him that we have spent a week catching up.
And we are both exhausted.
By the time I get off of work, I’m tired. But, our lives right now don’t let us take breaks. And with that doesn’t come the opportunity to sit or think… or to sit and think. When I’m so busy, I don’t have room in my brain to think about other things- just the tasks at hand and what needs to get done.
But somehow, God doesn’t let you completely avoid the other things that are going on in your life. Last week on the riveting season finale of Grey’s Anatomy, Dr. Bailey was nervously working on stopping the bleeding of a gun shot wound on one of her interns. She looked up and frantically said, “Where is all this water coming from?” The other patient in the room said, “Dr. B, you’re crying.”
I felt like I had one of those moments on my run today. You see, during wedding planning there are always reminders of the things I haven’t dealt with. At the tux shop, we discussed what the guys would be wearing. The lady helping us, not knowing the situation, asked what my dad would be wearing. When deciding our invitations, we had to discuss the wording on the invitations and if we include my dad’s name or not. The first thing people ask me when they find out my dad passed is who will walk me down the aisle.
Reminders. They are everywhere.
On my run today, all of the reminders came together and I had a Dr. Bailey moment- “Where is all this water coming from?”
My life is sometimes overwhelming. I’ve always made myself busy with many things, and this stage of my life is no different. I wish there were more hours in a day but if that were the case, I would probably add more things to my schedule and be even busier.
Since January, my life has been a whirlwind. I feel like I haven’t stopped- for anything.. and unfortunately that included my dad’s death. It seems that lately I’ve finally worn myself out that I feel like I can’t go anymore. This past week has been great with Luke home, but there is so many wedding details that I couldn’t do without him that we have spent a week catching up.
And we are both exhausted.
By the time I get off of work, I’m tired. But, our lives right now don’t let us take breaks. And with that doesn’t come the opportunity to sit or think… or to sit and think. When I’m so busy, I don’t have room in my brain to think about other things- just the tasks at hand and what needs to get done.
But somehow, God doesn’t let you completely avoid the other things that are going on in your life. Last week on the riveting season finale of Grey’s Anatomy, Dr. Bailey was nervously working on stopping the bleeding of a gun shot wound on one of her interns. She looked up and frantically said, “Where is all this water coming from?” The other patient in the room said, “Dr. B, you’re crying.”
I felt like I had one of those moments on my run today. You see, during wedding planning there are always reminders of the things I haven’t dealt with. At the tux shop, we discussed what the guys would be wearing. The lady helping us, not knowing the situation, asked what my dad would be wearing. When deciding our invitations, we had to discuss the wording on the invitations and if we include my dad’s name or not. The first thing people ask me when they find out my dad passed is who will walk me down the aisle.
Reminders. They are everywhere.
On my run today, all of the reminders came together and I had a Dr. Bailey moment- “Where is all this water coming from?”
Wednesday, May 19, 2010
i run for.. creepy eyes.
Have you ever seen a picture that seems to “follow you” around the room? You know what I mean- the eyes of the person in the picture seems like they move with you as if they are watching your every move. Of course their eyes aren’t really moving, but it just seems that way.
Well for whatever reason, on my run it seemed like every house that I passed had those same creepy eyes, except they were in porcelain dolls or the fake owls that people use to scare away squirrels, which in my opinion is even worse. At 5:00 in the morning, I was being watched- like their eyes were following me. CREEPY. That definitely motivated me to run- - to run as far away as fast as I could!
It’s my third week of the 5K training and P90 workouts. I can tell differences in my running patterns and my abilities compared to the first week, but I’m definitely in need of staying motivated. I’m still working on an organization to raise money for, as I have gotten some great advice and suggestions from a couple key people. This week has been kinda hectic because we found out that Luke is coming home on Thursday, which means I have to have everything ready for him by Wednesday.
Working full time, having a couple hours of workouts everyday, still working on things for the wedding (I HAVE TO CHOOSE MY INVITATIONS! AHH!), trying to have a social life, and getting ready for Luke has definitely made my life hectic- but for those of you that know me well how is that any different than what I’ve always done?
One of the things I’ve been working on is Luke and I’s scrapbook. I was hoping to have it completely updated by the time he gets home. But after an entire weekend of scrapbooking (literally- I only stopped once- for a friends birthday party!), I’m still not completely finished. As I looked over my work I realized how much we had gone through in our relationship. There had been so many memories that I’m so happy I’ve documented. I think about in 20, 30, 70 years when our scrapbook is found what people would think.
When we were looking for pictures for my dad’s memorial slideshow I looked at his pictures as a child and thought about how much I didn’t even know about him. The experiences he had as a child, what life was like as a college student when he was in college, what it was like to move away from his home town of San Diego. There’s so much that I now wish that I could ask him about.
My mom, Luke and I are traveling to San Diego for a week to see my dad’s side of the family. While it is a vacation, we are also planning to have a small memorial service and spread his ashes over the beach where he grew up. I’m looking forward to having some time off devoted to honoring my dad’s memory and dealing with him being gone. It seems as if I haven’t even had time to breathe since his death- making it almost impossible to grieve. I’m hoping to learn some things from his family that I’ve been wondering and ask them about his life before we knew it.
My encouragement to my readers today would be to ask questions. Get to know the people around you- about their memories, about their pasts, about their hopes, about what their scared of. Laugh, cry, interact with each other. Relationships are some of the only things that matter and memories are the things that we will cherish the most.
Well for whatever reason, on my run it seemed like every house that I passed had those same creepy eyes, except they were in porcelain dolls or the fake owls that people use to scare away squirrels, which in my opinion is even worse. At 5:00 in the morning, I was being watched- like their eyes were following me. CREEPY. That definitely motivated me to run- - to run as far away as fast as I could!
It’s my third week of the 5K training and P90 workouts. I can tell differences in my running patterns and my abilities compared to the first week, but I’m definitely in need of staying motivated. I’m still working on an organization to raise money for, as I have gotten some great advice and suggestions from a couple key people. This week has been kinda hectic because we found out that Luke is coming home on Thursday, which means I have to have everything ready for him by Wednesday.
Working full time, having a couple hours of workouts everyday, still working on things for the wedding (I HAVE TO CHOOSE MY INVITATIONS! AHH!), trying to have a social life, and getting ready for Luke has definitely made my life hectic- but for those of you that know me well how is that any different than what I’ve always done?
One of the things I’ve been working on is Luke and I’s scrapbook. I was hoping to have it completely updated by the time he gets home. But after an entire weekend of scrapbooking (literally- I only stopped once- for a friends birthday party!), I’m still not completely finished. As I looked over my work I realized how much we had gone through in our relationship. There had been so many memories that I’m so happy I’ve documented. I think about in 20, 30, 70 years when our scrapbook is found what people would think.
When we were looking for pictures for my dad’s memorial slideshow I looked at his pictures as a child and thought about how much I didn’t even know about him. The experiences he had as a child, what life was like as a college student when he was in college, what it was like to move away from his home town of San Diego. There’s so much that I now wish that I could ask him about.
My mom, Luke and I are traveling to San Diego for a week to see my dad’s side of the family. While it is a vacation, we are also planning to have a small memorial service and spread his ashes over the beach where he grew up. I’m looking forward to having some time off devoted to honoring my dad’s memory and dealing with him being gone. It seems as if I haven’t even had time to breathe since his death- making it almost impossible to grieve. I’m hoping to learn some things from his family that I’ve been wondering and ask them about his life before we knew it.
My encouragement to my readers today would be to ask questions. Get to know the people around you- about their memories, about their pasts, about their hopes, about what their scared of. Laugh, cry, interact with each other. Relationships are some of the only things that matter and memories are the things that we will cherish the most.
Tuesday, May 11, 2010
i run for.. wedding registries!
94 days and counting until Luke and I's wedding. It's coming so fast! I remember when he left for Japan back in August and I felt that this time apart would never end. I was apprehensive how we were going to make such a long distance relationship work with so many odds against us. It was our first year out of college, my dad was really sick, I was beginning a new job, he was living away from Indiana for the first time, and I was going to have to plan the wedding by myself.
I remember the last day that Luke spent time with my family before he left. There was an eerie feeling that although it wasn't certain, we figured that it might be the last time that he would ever see my dad. Aside from some Skype hospital visits, we were right. These past 9 months without Luke have been difficult and I can't say that either of us has always dealt with it gracefully. Between working full time, planning a wedding, traveling to and from Japan, dealing with the logistics of having a long distance relationship, and experiencing the death of my dad (especially with Luke gone), I've been stretched.
But 9 months later I've found myself wondering where all the time went. Wow, I can't believe we've almost made it through! Luke comes home 2 weeks from today! (1 week if they don't do well in the playoffs!) It seems so surreal that he will actually be in the United States. What will it be like to actually have him around? I joke to my friends that there will probably be days that I will want him to go to Japan because we've seen each other too much!
Even though he comes home shortly, my bridal showers are coming up quickly so I had to register for our wedding without him. I was so grateful to have one of my Matron of Honors, Kristin, go along with me to tell me everything I needed. She got married almost 4 years ago so she was great at telling me what I needed and what I could skip over.
8 hours, 3 stores and over 700 items later WE ARE REGISTERED! Both Luke and I are starting from scratch so we need EVERYTHING and we registered for it! It was so fun to think about what life would be like once we were married and pick out the things that we would be using in our "new life."
Speaking of "new life," week 2 of 5k training has started out rough. The rain and cold do a number on running outside with asthma. Thankfully Luke (a.k.a. my running sponsor as he likes to call it) has offered to pay for a gym membership for me so that I can get a break from extreme weather when I need it. Running on a treadmill is much different than running outside, but it's better than not running at all.
With all the this running, I'm still searching for the right cancer organization to be running for. I have a couple that I've been looking at but I'm definitely open to suggestions if anyone knows of any. The couple that I've looked at have an option of creating a "team." I like the concept of creating a team to work together, not necessarily for everyone to raise money but more importantly to bond together in an awareness and partnership of finding more treatments and cures for cancer. I want to be able to make a decision in the next couple weeks and I'll keep the blog updated on which organization is chosen. Until then, all suggestions are accepted and appreciated.
PS- Thanks for joining me on my journey- I've received some great encouragement through this process and I've loved to hear the stories about cancer that I've received. As the weeks progress I hope to continue to be so encouraged as the workouts get tougher and the cancer awareness begins. Your encouragement is what has kept my motivation up! Thanks for reading- you ROCK!
I remember the last day that Luke spent time with my family before he left. There was an eerie feeling that although it wasn't certain, we figured that it might be the last time that he would ever see my dad. Aside from some Skype hospital visits, we were right. These past 9 months without Luke have been difficult and I can't say that either of us has always dealt with it gracefully. Between working full time, planning a wedding, traveling to and from Japan, dealing with the logistics of having a long distance relationship, and experiencing the death of my dad (especially with Luke gone), I've been stretched.
But 9 months later I've found myself wondering where all the time went. Wow, I can't believe we've almost made it through! Luke comes home 2 weeks from today! (1 week if they don't do well in the playoffs!) It seems so surreal that he will actually be in the United States. What will it be like to actually have him around? I joke to my friends that there will probably be days that I will want him to go to Japan because we've seen each other too much!
Even though he comes home shortly, my bridal showers are coming up quickly so I had to register for our wedding without him. I was so grateful to have one of my Matron of Honors, Kristin, go along with me to tell me everything I needed. She got married almost 4 years ago so she was great at telling me what I needed and what I could skip over.
8 hours, 3 stores and over 700 items later WE ARE REGISTERED! Both Luke and I are starting from scratch so we need EVERYTHING and we registered for it! It was so fun to think about what life would be like once we were married and pick out the things that we would be using in our "new life."
Speaking of "new life," week 2 of 5k training has started out rough. The rain and cold do a number on running outside with asthma. Thankfully Luke (a.k.a. my running sponsor as he likes to call it) has offered to pay for a gym membership for me so that I can get a break from extreme weather when I need it. Running on a treadmill is much different than running outside, but it's better than not running at all.
With all the this running, I'm still searching for the right cancer organization to be running for. I have a couple that I've been looking at but I'm definitely open to suggestions if anyone knows of any. The couple that I've looked at have an option of creating a "team." I like the concept of creating a team to work together, not necessarily for everyone to raise money but more importantly to bond together in an awareness and partnership of finding more treatments and cures for cancer. I want to be able to make a decision in the next couple weeks and I'll keep the blog updated on which organization is chosen. Until then, all suggestions are accepted and appreciated.
PS- Thanks for joining me on my journey- I've received some great encouragement through this process and I've loved to hear the stories about cancer that I've received. As the weeks progress I hope to continue to be so encouraged as the workouts get tougher and the cancer awareness begins. Your encouragement is what has kept my motivation up! Thanks for reading- you ROCK!
Friday, May 7, 2010
i run for.. lightening, thunderstorms, and bad days.
Finally Friday! I woke up with not a very motivating attitude to run. I'm exhausted and my body keeps screaming at me. But despite the yells I got out of bed, threw my workout clothes on and out the door I went.
In some sick way, in just these past five days I've become addicted to the way I feel after I wake up and run in the morning. The energy and the clear mind that I've started each day out with this week has encouraged me to keep going.
Today was different. I began on my warm up walk on the damp pavement after it had rained throughout the night. Normally, I would have never gone outside if there was anything wet- -but this is a part of my lifestyle change that I talked about in my first blog, right?
Well, it turns out that I should have strayed away from those dark skies and damp payment. With just a block away from my house the pitch black sky turned to flashing spot lights with the lightening and a thunder crash directly following. Probably not the best idea to go running with lightening- - I'm not that fast yet.
Instead I went home to get ready for work early so that I could get off early and run then. Sounds ok, right? Hmm.. well- have you ever had one of those days when one thing goes wrong it seems like everything else does, too? Yup, that seemed to be my morning. With the thunder crashing and now the rain coming down heavily, my Friday seemed grim.
Being at work without running that morning seemed awkward as I felt like my body wasn't working quite yet- like I needed a burst of energy to feel comfortable. All day I was looking forward to the time that I could run- - ((what? Did I seriously just say that? ))
Truth is, when I began to think about my "bad day" it really turned out to be just a "bad attitude." Sometime during the day I realized that I'm blessed with a body that can move, run, exercise, stretch, and grow stronger, and that burst of energy that I was waiting on will eventually come.
I never realized what a blessing that was until there were times when Dad would have a "bad day" and it was truly a bad day. I used to get angry with him when he wouldn't participate in family get togethers because he was too tired. His energy was shot, not because he was looking at life negatively (like I was today) but because his body couldn't withstand the pain and weight of the cancer rapidly spreading. Not feeling comfortable in his body wasn't caused by not having the chance to exercise, it was because he didn't have the ability to control his own body anymore- and that burst of energy that would make me feel better would never again come for him. Now that's a bad day.
These moments of realization come just as that flash of lightening, giving me understanding to his hurt and pain. Just another reminder that better treatments and better cures are needed.. which means there needs to be more research- and how much money do they need? Let me give you an example:
My mom informed this week that a experimental treatment that my dad had tried got approved to be used as a treatment for cancer this past month. It was a sort of shot that he got every once in awhile. Each shot cost over $50,000- -EACH SHOT. The series was 3-4 shots I believe. Luckily, because my dad was a part of the experimental study he received these shots for free but the price has sense gone up for patients that will use this as treatment. If the shot alone cost this much for one person, think about the entire study and how big of a price tag that was.
Research is expensive.. but then again, how valuable is a life that could be saved?
In some sick way, in just these past five days I've become addicted to the way I feel after I wake up and run in the morning. The energy and the clear mind that I've started each day out with this week has encouraged me to keep going.
Today was different. I began on my warm up walk on the damp pavement after it had rained throughout the night. Normally, I would have never gone outside if there was anything wet- -but this is a part of my lifestyle change that I talked about in my first blog, right?
Well, it turns out that I should have strayed away from those dark skies and damp payment. With just a block away from my house the pitch black sky turned to flashing spot lights with the lightening and a thunder crash directly following. Probably not the best idea to go running with lightening- - I'm not that fast yet.
Instead I went home to get ready for work early so that I could get off early and run then. Sounds ok, right? Hmm.. well- have you ever had one of those days when one thing goes wrong it seems like everything else does, too? Yup, that seemed to be my morning. With the thunder crashing and now the rain coming down heavily, my Friday seemed grim.
Being at work without running that morning seemed awkward as I felt like my body wasn't working quite yet- like I needed a burst of energy to feel comfortable. All day I was looking forward to the time that I could run- - ((what? Did I seriously just say that? ))
Truth is, when I began to think about my "bad day" it really turned out to be just a "bad attitude." Sometime during the day I realized that I'm blessed with a body that can move, run, exercise, stretch, and grow stronger, and that burst of energy that I was waiting on will eventually come.
I never realized what a blessing that was until there were times when Dad would have a "bad day" and it was truly a bad day. I used to get angry with him when he wouldn't participate in family get togethers because he was too tired. His energy was shot, not because he was looking at life negatively (like I was today) but because his body couldn't withstand the pain and weight of the cancer rapidly spreading. Not feeling comfortable in his body wasn't caused by not having the chance to exercise, it was because he didn't have the ability to control his own body anymore- and that burst of energy that would make me feel better would never again come for him. Now that's a bad day.
These moments of realization come just as that flash of lightening, giving me understanding to his hurt and pain. Just another reminder that better treatments and better cures are needed.. which means there needs to be more research- and how much money do they need? Let me give you an example:
My mom informed this week that a experimental treatment that my dad had tried got approved to be used as a treatment for cancer this past month. It was a sort of shot that he got every once in awhile. Each shot cost over $50,000- -EACH SHOT. The series was 3-4 shots I believe. Luckily, because my dad was a part of the experimental study he received these shots for free but the price has sense gone up for patients that will use this as treatment. If the shot alone cost this much for one person, think about the entire study and how big of a price tag that was.
Research is expensive.. but then again, how valuable is a life that could be saved?
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