I'm finally catching up with my life after our vacation to San Diego.. Wow how time has flown and unfortunately I haven't even been able to enjoy much the last few weeks- -especially running!
Luke, my mom, and I went to San Diego for a two fold reason- 1. to have a vacation! finally! 2. to see my dad's family and together spread his ashes over a beach Dad grew up near. It was so great being in California. When I'm out there I always wonder why my dad traded mountains, beautiful weather and beaches for the corn fields, cold weather, and icing roads. It's beautiful out there and I never want to come home once I'm there.
To keep with my training schedule, Luke was gracious enough to go out with me each morning to run. We found a beautiful spot to run- - it was at the top of a group of hills that made up a state park. Running with my fiance, with sunrising over the hills was absolutely gorgeous (way better than the streets and houses in Indiana). It was so great to be together and not have the pressure of our everyday life.
We did alot of fun things in California including going to Disneyland and the San Diego Zoo. Walking around Disneyland with a seven-footer was hilarious. Getting stuck on rides and not fitting through some doorways made the day that much better. I admire Luke so much to not take all of those things seriously and he's always able to laugh at himself and make others laugh with him as well. Having carefree time in California allowed for us to reconnect after a long 9 months of distance.
Spreading my dad's ashes was the not-so-fun part of the trip. We had a beautiful ceremony with my uncle and cousins to remember Dad and his life. After prayer, a Bible reading, a song and memories, most of us took a handful of ashes and spread them in the ocean. My mom took what was left and spread them by herself. Watching my mom stand alone at the water and letting the ashes fly away was a difficult realization for me- -that's exactly what she is. She is alone. I will never get that picture out of my head. That was the time that I realized that this has really happened. This life is really real. I know my mom has realized most of these things already but when I saw her standing there, alone, my heart wept for her because of the pain that i knew she had to be going through.
The vacation was fun, but there were also very difficult moments. I was so thankful for the spending time with my dad's family. My uncle, grandpa, and my dad all look and act very closely so when I'm around them, I feel a little closer to my dad.
Vacation was great, but now we're back to real life! Wedding plans, workout schedules, friends, and work take up our time again but for each of these things I am thankful!
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Vacation is usually great, but it's also very nice to return home, right? I know your life is really hectic right now, but I sure hope you are embracing it and loving each minute of it. You will only get married once...and the planning is part of the memories.
ReplyDeleteI'm glad you had a good trip and were able to visit with your father's family. It's good for you to cry and grieve. It's part of the healing process. Believe it or not, it will get easier. You'll never forget, but remembering won't be quite as painful. Give it time.
Keep up your training. I've been jog/walking too lately. It's tough to get out of bed at 5:30 and lately it is either blazing hot or raining (and still hot) but I've been trying to do it at least 3 times a week. I don't go very far - don't really have time that time of morning. But every little bit helps, right?
Keep loving, keep running, keep writing.